


I know you wanna leave, so come on baby, be with me so happily

by Sisusen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Touching, a teeny tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-02 22:04:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1062153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sisusen/pseuds/Sisusen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long long time ago, a rich boy fell in love with the pretty boy in his fathers stable. The rich boy were to marry a girl, but the stable boy wanted him to run away and be with him so happily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I don't quite know wich year this fic takes place. Somewhere in the 19th century maybe. That's not really important. The important thing is that Louis gets a kiss - and more - from Harry, and loves it. 
> 
> And also - this was really hard to translate for some reason! Please, if you see any horrible mistakes (any mistakes really, they don't need to be horrible), let me know!

The big wooden door creaked when Louis pushed it open. I was a chilly winter night and he shivered and pulled his coat tighter around him, even though he knew he would soon be inside, enjoying the welcoming warmth of the stable.

He closed the door behind him and made sure that the lock on the door really clicked in the way it should, before he stood still for a while to accustom his eyes to the darkness.

Far away he saw shadows flickering in the light of a lantern. He felt a soothing calmness spreading in his body. Here, he felt safe. Here, he felt at home. The warmth that enveloped him, the yellow light from the lantern, the smell of hay and the sound of the horses quietly moving in their stalls, it all made him feel so safe. And Harry, of course. He smiled quickly at the thought of the good friend he had made a year ago, when Harry had come to the farm to work as a stable boy. It didn't take long before Louis did his best to find countless reasons to go out to the stables, and to let his errands there run longer and longer. He stayed happily in the barn and helped with chores, just to be able to spend time with Harry.

Louis eyes was getting used to the darkness now, and he started to walk.

He had been feeling sad and worried when he left the big house he lived in, but for every step he took over the snow-covered yard, the concerns inside him had subsided. He loved coming inside the stables. Here he could avoid thinking about Eleanor who always scolded him, and when she didn't do that, wanted to be near him, which was something he did not want.

He took careful steps along the stalls, didn't call out to his friend just yet, wanted to let the horses have the serenity of their home.

When he reached the end of the stable, he cautiously moved the lantern a bit, he didn't want to accidentally push it over, and sat down on one of the hay bales that had been placed there at the end of the gangway. He waited. Wondered where Harry were, he didn't hear him anywhere in the oblong building.

He rubbed his hands against eachother to get them warm, and felt all anxiety finally leaving him, for now. He closed his eyes and tried to maintain himself in the secure atmosphere of the stable, tried not to think about things that would upset him again.

"Hi!" he suddenly heard a voice say. Louis opened his eyes again and saw Harry come walking towards him with a big smile on his face. Was there any moment that boy didn't smile? Louis felt himself smiling just as big back at Harry, wondering what good he had done to deserve this boy in his life.

"How are you?" Harry asked as he sat down next to Louis.

Louis hesitated. He didn't know how to express himself, how much he would share about his troubles. Harry was, after all, only 17 years old, and a stable boy. How much did he know about marriage duties? He sighed quietly and looked down on the dirty floor. Abcsentminded he registered that Harry must have missed sweeping that last bit of floor, because further away it was neat and tidy, just like his father wanted it in his stable .

"I..." he began. He felt so incredibly comfortable with Harry, yet this felt wrong to discuss with him. This was his sanctuary, stables was the only place in his home, where there wasn't a perpetual nagging about place cards, food, gifts, clothes and how many floors the damn cake would be. He wasn't sure he wanted to bring that angst in there.

He sighed again. Picked up a straw and broke it to pieces, dropping them down on the floor, trying to get them all to build a neat pile.

"So..." he tried again. "I... It's this thing with the wedding..." He paused and glanced at Harry who looked at him without saying anything. A soothing face, which encouraged him to continue talking.

"I know what are expected from us... to beget children... afterwards..." he mumbled as he felt himself blushing and tearing up at the same time. "... But I... don't want to." he said quietly.

Harry still said nothing. He silently made room for Louis to continue talking. Louis felt a wave of heat through the body. No one else around him was like this. No one else would take the time to really listen to Louis, the only thing that happened outside the stable were that he was run over by his father, his mother, by Eleanor's parents, even his bride-to-be behaved as if she could control him as she wanted.

"I feel bad about this whole wedding. I don't feel comfortable with it. It doesn't feel like me. I don't know what else would feel like me, I realize that I have to marry her... though ... it just feels wrong."

He hesitated before he continued talking.

"We haven't even kissed... yet. Eleanor want to. But I... I just can't. I keep coming up with excuse after excuse and I don't know how much longer I can continue that."

"But don't you want to kiss her?" Harry asks gently. "Kissing is pretty nice, maybe you would just... try. Letting her lead the way, if you are unsure of how to do it."

Louis turned his face to Harry with a surprised look. Here was this 17-year-old in front of him, informing him that it's "pretty nice" to kiss. How on earth does he know that? Louis had to ask.

"Have you... kissed many girls?"

Harry grinned.

"Nah. But a couple of boys. "

Louis felt it like he was almost pushed over. Boys?! He felt his face without mercy revealing his shock, and he couldn't understand how Harry could sit there beside him and look so calm. Boys...! That behaviour was absolutely wrong and forbidden! He didn't know all of the Church laws and rules by heart, but he was deeply convinced that such relation with someone of the same sex was totally wrong.

"But... you cannot... it's not right... " he mumbled and looked hesitantly at Harry.

Harry laughed.

"It's not right? Says who? God father almighty?"

Louis nodded. The shock still had not subsided, and here Harry sat, laughing at him. Of course it was God who deemed this. It was a sin!

Suddenly Louis became afraid that Harry would be punished! He saw before him how a lightning hit Harry, or something similar horrible sent from God. "You can't continue that!" he exclaimed. "You mustn't do it again! What if you get punished!". He felt his stomach tighten in fear that God would be displeased by Harry's sinful behaviour.

Harry threw back his head and laughed loudly. When he realized how late it was, and that he may scare the horses, he quickly put a hand to his mouth and fell silent, but Louis could tell by his eyes that he still wanted to laugh. They glittered like silver, and he felt the urge to reach his arm out, stroking away a pair of dark curls that threatened to fall down over Harry's eyes. Louis wanted to see all of Harry's face, he loved to see him laugh.

However, before he had managed to raise his hand an inch, he stopped. That would probably not be an approved behaviour before God or men of the church.

He pushed aside the desire to touch Harry and sat quietly and looked down at his fingers.

Harry had calmed down now. Leaned forward a bit to look up at Louis.

"Hey... " he said. "God will not punish me for kissing boys. Nasty people who walk on this earth maybe, but not God. I believe that God wants to see people happy, and if I feel happiness when I lie down with a pretty boy over me, then I think God smiles in his heaven."

Louis opened his eyes. Was Harry out of his mind? Well, Louis knew that Harry rarely attended church, but to talk about God in this way... Louis was in complete shock.

"Want to try?" Harry asked, the glitter in his eyes was there again.

"Try... ?" Louis repeated questioning.

"Yes. Try. Firstly, try to kiss, and second, to see if it starts raining dead frogs on us after a while. What do you say?"

Louis got up quickly. Harry was clearly crazy. Would he, Louis Tomlinson, who within a few weeks would stand at the altar with the girl who had been selected for him, kiss a boy? No, never in a lifetime.

"No. I don't want to kiss you. It's wrong. I don't want to."

Harry stood up aswell.

"Don't you want to because it is wrong, or you don't you want to because it's me?" he said.

Louis couldn't answer. For suddenly he knew why the betrothal with Eleanor had felt wrong from the beginning, why he had avoided any kind of intimacy with her, why it always felt so right, so warm, so at home, to get to the stables, to Harry. To the happy, beautiful, Harry, who always had a warm embrace to offer, a kind word or just silence to rest in.

He felt dizzy over enlightenment. He couldn't understand it. He couldn't for his life bring himself to form the words in his head, the reason why he had been feeling so down lately. It was all about Harry. He had pressed aside his feelings for so long that he was genuinely shocked when everything stood clear to him. He was in love with his friend.

He couldn't stay in the house another second. He turned on his heel without a word and hurried away .


	2. Chapter 2

Two days passed before Louis went back to the stables again. Harry had calmly waited for his friend while he continued his daily chores with the horses. He was a quiet nature, and he knew Louis well enough by now to understand that there really wasn't him running away after saying he didn't want to kiss Harry, as much as it was the fear of his own feelings that made him rush out. Harry had seen it so clearly, when Louis went from being unsuspecting why he got on so well with his friend, to realize his feelings for him. He watched him run away but knew he would come back when he was ready. If there was something Louis needed, it was time. Harry did not intend to ignore that fact.

...

While Louis as gently as he could shut the stable door behind him, taking time to actually close it properly this time, he stood still, just listening, to find out if Harry was there. It had felt so strange these two nights that had passed since he stormed out of the stable. For so many months, the two boys had spent several hours together every day. Night after night, they had slowly gotten to know each other, released into each others worlds and sharing stories about themselves, or in silence listened to the other. Now Louis had been without Harry for so many hours, and it had felt so empty.

When he had entered his room that night, after rushing across the yard with tears burning in his eyes, he just stood still in the middle of the room, out of breath, not knowing what on earth he was suppose to do. Thousands of emotions within him fought to be acknowledged, he felt naked and vulnerable and could not stand the thought of ever being able to tell Harry how he felt.

He had been angry. He had been so enormously angry as he stood alone in his room with these desperately intense emotions. He closed his hands into fists, and opened them again, and closed again, he didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to punch something, wanted to kick and destroy, but at the same time, he wanted to throw himself into someones arms... realizing whose special arms he wanted to fall into, the only arms that existed in his world, made him flinch out off the shock before he uttered a high sob and tumbled down on his bed with his face hidden in his hands. He wasn't yet accustomed to think of Harry along those lines. 

He had been angry and sad, disappointed with his own feelings, on how he could have fooled himself that way! The moment he realized how he felt about Harry, there was no turning back. He clearly saw that these feelings, were something he would never again be able to ignore, hide, push aside. And he wept when he pictured a life with Eleanor while he secretly loved the stable boy on his father's farm.

He had fallen asleep crying that night. The next day he woke up with bloodshot eyes and his mother had anxiously wondered what was wrong.

"Nothing.", Louis had answered, feeling the tears building up behind his eyelids again. He hated to be this sensitive. Ever since he was a little boy, he had been the only one in the big group of friends that always started to cry when he felt wronged, and the other had had endless fun about it. He couldn't help that he was born with his heart on his sleeve. Now, however, it was a long time since he had cried. Louis remembered that the last time was at his grandfather's funeral when he was 12 years old. That day, his father had told him that he had to stop acting like such a girl, he simply couldn't sit there and cry like a baby just because the old man had passed away.

The look Louis' father had given him was a disparaging glance filled with shame over his tearful son, and it made Louis decide that whatever happened in the future, he would never cry again. And he had succeeded. Despite beloved family members, friends, and animals that had died or left the farm, he had never cried again. Not a single tear had he shed, neither in front of others or alone.

And look at him now. There was not a single right about him at this moment. He had betrayed himself by crying, he betrayed Eleanor by being in love with Harry, he betrayed his parents by... being what he was. A crying boy with too much emotions, and also in love with a boy.

He sobbed and wiped his runny nose with his sleeve, causing his mother to gasp. "Louis, watch your manners, use a handkerchief!" she scolded, as she handed him one. "What's the matter honey?" she wondered again, more kindly now, after he had wiped his nose, blinked away the tears, and gathered himself.

"It's nothing." Louis mumbled without looking at his concerned mother. He was aching inside, he felt such pain thinking that his mother had been given such a useless son. She deserved better. She was so fond of Eleanor, sometimes Louis felt that she was happier to get a daughter-in-law than to see her son get married. She loved Louis, he knew that. But she didn't understand him.

"I will go to my room again," he said quietly as he turned away from her and walked away. He felt his mother's eyes in his back all the way.

...

Harry had heard Louis entering the barn, no one could sneak in there without him hearing. He was so accustomed to every sound in the building that he registered every unexpected little sound that arose. He didn't come to meet Louis, just continued with his chores. He didn't want to make a big deal about what had happened. If Louis had spent the last two days to realize his feelings, it was very welcome, Harry was really in love with the older boy, he had realized this a long time ago but did not say anything about it. If Louis on the other hand had spent these days pushing his feelings aside, to try to build up some kind of love for Eleanor, that was fine too. Harry would rather keep Louis as just a friend, than to lose him completely. If it meant that they were both going to ignore the fact that they were in love, so be it. Louis mattered too much to Harry, he was not at all willing to jeopardize their friendship. And the way things were now, Louis had of course no idea that his feelings were mutual, so Harry expected no big declaration of love from Louis side, if any.

He let out a silent sigh as he hung up the broom in its place on the barn wall. He heard that Louis had taken careful steps towards him, and that he was now just behind him. He turned slowly and had to brace himself to not visibly react to what he saw. Louis looked awful, as if he had been crying constantly since he left the stable, and not eaten anything since. It felt like an icy hand were suddenly clutching Harry's heart and he wanted to throw himself forward and take Louis in his arms, caress his hair and whisper that everything would be fine. But he didn't move an inch.

"Hello." Louis said, trying to give Harry a smile. It stretched to one side of his mouth, and stayed far away from his eyes. Harry felt sad. Sweet kind Louis, looking like this.

"Hello." Harry answered. "How have you been?" he asked gently. Everything inside of him were screaming to reach out with a hand and warily touch Louis pale cheek. Of course he didn't.

Louis didn't answer, just looked at Harry with eyes gossiping about conflicting emotions. Harry suffered with him, he thought he knew how Louis felt right now.

Louis sounded hesitant when he said, "I... want to apologize for running out... I... That was rude..."

Harry smiled and replied, "No problem. It was a cheeky question from my side. I had no right to intrude on your privacy with such an invitation."

Louis smiled at Harry again. This time it reached up to the eyes. Harry felt warm inside.

Louis continued, "But... However I don't... I don't want to be with you in that way...", the beautiful smile now gone. "It's... wrong... " he mumbled, and at that moment Harry realized what side Louis had chosen. Harry got a lump in his throat, felt unfairly deselected even though he with no difficulty understood his friend's choice. It was neither surprising or unexpected that he wanted to try to push his feelings for Harry aside. Not strange at all. Not unexpected. Not at all weird. He was after all counting on it to be a natural choice for Louis.

Then why did he feel so sad?

...

Finally, they had slowly moved to the corner of the stall they had claimed for theirs, and tentatively tried to pick up where everything had degenerated that night. During all those month, they had been lying comfortably stretched over hay bales, sometimes they touched each other, either cold fingers in under the others thighs, or just they stretched their legs over each other. Being physically close had become a natural state for them, a long time ago, but on this night they were both careful not to even brush against the other.

Their conversation became more and more easy to run the longer the evening went on, but it was with noticeable effort. When Louis left the stable at midnight Harry felt completely exhausted. He sank down on the cold floor, staring straight ahead. "The first night is over." he said to himself. "Now it will only get easier."

The next night was lined by hasty attempt to avoid collisions when they were about to accidentally touch each other, uncomfortable silence, and embarrassed laughter as they both the exact same time began to talk again. Harry was even more exhausted when Louis left the stable that night, and almost wanted to cry from the frustration he felt.

The third night, because Louis continued to come to Harry, was a bit easier. But it was a never ending stream of moments when they both sat in silence, not knowing how the conversation would be taken further, and the frustration between them was so obvious, you could touch it. Harry felt dejected and annoyed at the same time. Never had silence been so markedly distinct between them, as it was now. Louis was the only person Harry had ever met who could sit next to him without speaking and everything still felt just felt perfect. But as it was now, it was just a mess of uncertainty and unwelcome silence. It felt so wrong, it encroached on their entire friendship but Harry could do nothing but accept Louis' choice. And besides, he thought to himself, he couldn't even be sure that Louis had feelings for him. It was just something that Harry thought he was picking up from Louis. He could be totally wrong. The strange atmosphere between them might just come from his pushy offer to kiss Louis.

Harry tried to tell himself that he probably only had imagine his loud and clear hunch that Louis had feelings for him, but deep down he knew that it wasn't so. He knew a man hopelessly in love when he saw one.

The fourth night came and went, as well as fifth. And a week went by, and then another. Weeks turned into months and slowly but surely everything at last returned to the ordinary. Again they felt like normal friends who just enjoyed each others company. Harry had gone back to struggle with his emotions from a distance, sleep alone at night in his little cottage, and touch himself while he closed his eyes, seing Louis' beautiful face before him.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a late night, a week before the wedding was to be held, as things took a new turn. Everyday life had settled completely now and everything was as they were before. It was an evening like any other. Harry was doubled over in laughter as he told Louis about a crazy christmas in his childhood when his aunt had fallen backwards into the large pot with turkey broth, without being able to come up. Louis shrieked with laughter and they both had tears running from laughing so much.

It took several minutes before they had calmed down and was now lying next to each other, trying to catch their breath. At times one of them started giggling again, resulting in a few more breathtaking laughters.

Eventually they lay perfectly still next to each other. Smiling faces, two young hearts that again beat with calm, steady beats, they both looked up at the dark wooden ceiling above them.

"Kiss me." Louis suddenly said.

Harry instantly turned his head against Louis. He stared at his friend and wasn't sure he got it right. Louis didn't look at him. He remained still, a small smile lingering, and he let his eyes follow the rafters, one by one. He shifted his gaze gradually at the ceiling, but never reached to Harry.

"Louis..." Harry started saying, but didn't know how to continue. Would he say no? It would be stupid of him. Would he say yes? Wouldn't that also be stupid?

Louis giggled. Turned his head towards Harry.

"Oh, I don't know," he said simply with his voice full of laughter. "I don't know what it came from. But if you want to... you can!"

Harry hesitated. He didn't want to kiss Louis if there wasn't something real behind his request. He had fought so hard to regain the friendly atmosphere between the two of them, and he assumed that Louis had done the same. At least he hoped that it had been equally exhausting for Louis to behave normally now.

"I..." he murmured, suddenly unsure. "I... don't understand... why... and why now?"

Six month had passed since Louis had rushed out from the stables after Harry's question, and the memory of it was still deeply etched in Harry's memory. He could not go through that again.

Louis smiled as he looked at Harry, it was the most beautiful thing Harry had ever seen. He felt all his repressed feelings come storming over him as an ocean wave. He tried to stand up to all the emotions that erupted but it was difficult. He realized that he was hopelessly in love with this boy.

"I just feel like it" Louis replied. "I'm getting married in less than a week. I don't think I will be happy in this marriage. I thought I could get this as a memory, as something to take with me, to... to be able to cope with it all."

Harry frowned. It didn't really make sense. Should they kiss tonight, and then return to being friends for a month, and then be separated for good and become stable boy and master? Harry assumed that after the wedding, their evenings together would be a thing of the past. He tried to understand how Louis was thinking.

"But why do you think you won't be happy with... her?" Harry wondered gently. "Why would this be something that would make it easier for you to cope with your life?"

Louis smile had vanished now. Harry's heart could break at the sight of his friend. Louis, who just a moment ago, had been laughing so that the windows almost were rattling, then calmed to just lying there giggling, then smile and ask for a simple kiss, as if it was something he did every few day, now looked straight at Harry, something flaming in his eyes. Harry couldn't tell what it was, maybe it was panic. It sent shivers over his body, Louis emotional state affected Harry so strongly.

"Harry..." Louis said slowly. "Must you question me...? Would not you just.... kiss me?"

"No," Harry shook his head. "I need to understand why. What did this come from, you have to know."

"Well, isn't this just a perfect ruining of the moment! " Louis snapped and sat up.

Harry looked at Louis, surprised. What on earth...?

"Oh, never mind. " Louis suddenly said. "Just... ignore it. It is probably for the best anyway."

Harry felt confused by Louis abrupt mood swings. It was just now they had been laughing together, tearing up from it. And now Harry was carefully watching Louis, who was sitting before him looking like thunder and lightening. Harry felt that it was time now to just wait for Louis. To not say anything at all. Maybe even Louis himself didn't quite now what was going on.

"I have kissed her now by the way." Louis said all of a sudden. "She was so happy when I finally went along with it. But... it was not like I thought it would be."

Harry wanted to ask how it was, if it wasn't that Louis had expected, but he really didn't want to know anything about what Louis did with her. He was ashamed, being Louis' friend he should probably interest himself in such things. But he just couldn't.

Before Harry had time to give any response to what Louis had told him, Louis went on talking.

"We were sitting on the edge of my bed. We... well, we kissed, I guess. She moved around with her tongue in my mouth and I just wanted to push her away. I continued anyway though. Then she started to touch me."

Harry winced at his words. He would give anything to feel Louis under his hands.

"It was pretty creepy. She was quite... straightforward." Louis said.

"Oh." was all Harry could say.

"When she was just about to move her hand to... well, you know... I pushed her aside and stood up. Then she grinned and tried to look innocent, but at least had the good manners to blush. Then she left my room. It doesn't feel very successful that I 'm marrying her. I don't like her. But this is what is decided, and so will it be. And if I will live the rest of my life with sloppy kisses and her bold hands, I will at least know that I once got to kiss you."

Harry was speechless when Louis stopped talking. He didn't know how he would handle this situation. Part of him was ready to embrace Louis and overwhelm him with kisses, to let him know how amazing it could be. He wanted to show that it was obvious that the kisses with Eleanor was unpleasant and that the kisses Harry would give him, could take them both to the seventh heaven. Another part of him was terrified that Louis really just wanted to have a nice little memory, and nothing more than that. He wanted to be with Louis forever, and he wanted Louis to want to be with him forever. He hesitated but watched Louis become more and more uncertain for every second. Harry didn't dare pushing it, what if he changed his mind. Louis would get his kiss.

He sat up next to his friend and said "Yes. I will kiss you. But I must know, is it really just to have gotten to kiss me once, before going into marriage with Eleanor? Or is there something more to it? I beg of you to be completely honest with me. I will kiss you. But I want to know exactly what you are thinking. Please."

Louis didn't answer. Harry looked intently at him. He wouldn't let this go without a response. He felt evil not being satisfied with the explanation Louis had given him, but he refused to believe that Louis was so indifferent. He demanded an answer, and it would be an honest one.

Louis closed his eyes. He thought he could handle even this situation as he has done since he was 12 years old, but something with Harry were reaching to the best hidden parts inside of him. He felt tears burning behind his eyelids and fought feverishly for them to not break through and roll down his cheeks. He inhaled slowly. He didn't dare to open up to Harry. Didn't dare to be vulnerable, didn't want to show that he could ever be vulnerable. But Harry didn't deserve lies. Harry was one of very few people in the world that Louis never wanted to lie to. And he felt the emotions clamouring to be let out, he couldn't hold it in any longer. It was like a big wave that welled up within him.

Harry could follow Louis conflicting emotions, it reflected so clearly in his face as he sat in front of him with his eyes closed. Harry's first instinct at the sight of it was to take his words back, to apologize, to explain that he had no right to demand a response from his friend... But he remained quiet. If it were to threats to get Louis to show his true feelings, that was what he would do. What did they have to lose? Harry was not entirely sure that Louis felt the same for Harry as Harry felt Louis. But he wanted to trust his intuition. It had helped him many times before and he would be surprised if it didn't tell him right also this time.

But he really didn't have to worry.

For the words that reached his ears, was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.

"Harry..." his friend said with a nervous voice. "... I think... I think I'm in love with you. I think I am so terribly in love, I don't want to kiss you just to have as a memory, I want to kiss you because... because... it's the only thing I think about, all the time. Every waking minute I think of your lips against mine and that I want to feel your arms around me and smell you and hear your heartbeat, I think you are the most beautiful man who walked on this earth, I think that you are a boy, and moreover, my father's stable boy, and that it is so wrong so wrong, but nothing has ever felt more right. I think that I will go to hell for this but it doesn't matter, because everything in my body cries out your name! And I think I'm in love. I think that for the first time in my life, I am in love."

Harry couldn't hold back his smile. Couldn't describe the happiness he felt within him when he heard Louis' words. He leaned forward, touching Louis' cheek. Louis let his head lean onto Harry's hand, closing his eyes. "Do you think I'm crazy... ?" he asked quietly.

Harry put his other hand on Louis' face and gently pushed his head back, saying "Look at me."

Louis did as he was told.

Harry started talking. "This was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I don't know what to do with all the feelings that are rushing around in my body right now. I really just want to get up , and run around screaming. Louis... I feel the same. I feel the exact same thing as you.You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen and every night you leave me to go to her, I want to rush after you and drag you back to our corner and never let you go again. I dream about feeling your lips against mine, I want to feel your body against mine, I want... I want to run away and start a life with you!"

A surprised laughter slipped out from Louis at Harry's last sentence. "You're crazy!" he giggled. Harry smiled. "Don't you want to run away with me?" he wondered and caressed Louis' cheeks with his thumbs. Louis replied smiling "Yes... but I don't know if I can. The wedding..."

Harry looked serious and said "I know. But think about it."

Louis nodded. It was a surreal thought. Leaving Eleanor and the wedding and everything that belonged to it, but he liked it. He liked the idea that there was a chance to a happy life, although he wasn't sure he would dare to implement such a thing.

Harry's hands left Louis cheeks, to rest in his lap instead, and quitly he said "Thank you. Thank you for being honest. It means the world to me."

Louis' eyes sparkled and he said smiling "So, do I get my prize now? May I kiss the prettiest boy in the country?"

Harry laughed and nodded. He leaned forward, and Louis did the same.

As their lips met, Harry's soft, full lips, met Louis thinner, in a gentle kiss. A thousand butterflies exited in the two boys' bodies, fluttering around, their lips were drawn up in smiles. The kiss was broken and they were sitting close together, nose to nose, forehead to forehead. Hearts beating fast, blood rushing and they both enjoyed the feeling of at last finding the right place in life.

Their lips found each other again and Louis understood now that this is how kissing should be like. He never wanted it to end. What Eleanor had been looking for when her hands had caressed him over his pants, was now quickly awakened and clearly appeared during the rough fabric of his clothes. There was a pounding in his entire body and he brought up his hands to Harry's face to keep him as close as possible. Harry put a hand behind Louis'neck and they exchanged slow kisses with lips, tongue, hot breath.

That was how they spent the rest of the evening.

Eventually Louis broke it off and muttered that it was time to leave for the night.

Harry nodded understandingly. Obviously. Louis' life was not with Harry. Maybe some day it would be. But it was not now. Yet he was promised to Eleanor. Harry let Louis go and saw him collect himself before he gave Harry one last kiss and then hurried across the yard into the big house.

The next night was the same. Long kisses, hands that required more and more, pounding hearts, throbbing erections. Putting an end to the kisses was so hard to go through with.

The kisses that were given and taken the next day, four days to the wedding now, were deeper, longer, more intense. They were lying down this evening, it was no longer enough to just sit close. They needed to feel the other tightly close. Louis lay down and pulled Harry over him. When their rigid sexes met through their clothes they both gasped and instinctively began a heated quest for receiving friction. They rubbed against each other and the kisses were almost completely forgotten now. Harry didn't know how he would deal with this, he had never gone this far with a boy before. He used to just kiss and maybe squeeze a little around the others stiffness, but never had he felt this intense emotions. It was frantic, sweaty, desperate, a chaos of needs, mixed with the love they both felt.

Suddenly Louis felt he was near the edge. The edge he had passed over and over again, alone in his room, with Harry in his mind, sweatingly stroking himself. It was too real for him. The feeling was raised in him too fast, he didn't know how he would handle this. They both had clothes on, how should this happen? He tore himself from the kiss and pushed Harry away and heaved himself up to a sitting position.

Harry stared at him in surprise. "What happened? What's the matter?" he asked with even even fuller lips now than before. His cheeks were red and his breathing was laboured.

Louis didn't know how to explain his strange behaviour. He assumed that Harry actually understood what was going on, but Louis just couldn't express it in words. He blushed. "It felt so good... I didn't know how to stop it... sorry..."

Harry looked confused. His gaze flickered between Louis' face and his tight pants and then he understood and gave Louis a warm smile. Louis felt himself blushing like a maniac, but it at least got the heated feeling in his body to fold.

"It was being... well... you know...?" he muttered, beside himself with embarrassment. Harry leaned forward, put his face to Louis neck, inhaled his scent and whispered, "If you think this goes too fast, it's okay. It's good that you stopped if you don't feel ready now. But I would like to make it good for you. Maybe not like this, fully clothed, but... I can help you... I can make it good for you. With my hands." Harry noticed that Louis listened attentively." Or with my mouth." he continued, smiling gently as he felt Louis almost imperceptibly winced.

"I... I... have to go..." Louis muttered as he quickly put on his thin coat. He gave Harry a quick kiss and hurried away. Just as he opened the door, he turned to Harry and smiled. Then he was gone.

Harry lay on his back in the hay with his hands over his face, the laughter in his body mixed with love for Louis, he was bubbling over with emotion. He couldn't wait for tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, as I said in the beginning... This was so hard to translate from my language... You know, trying to keep it "old"... Gah, never doing a fic again that takes place earlier than like, the seventies!! 
> 
> Well, enjoy anyway... :)

"Three days from now, my wedding is to be hold. And here I lie with you, being truly in love for the first time in my life. I can't believe it, how did this happen?".

Louis were complaining. He and Harry were laying next to each other on a big blanket that Harry had spread out over the hay bales they since a long time had made their own. Harry didn't really know how to respond. He were laying on his side with his head resting in one hand and instead of answering Louis, he let his index finger follow the seams in Louis' shirt. When the fingertip lightly slid down Louis waist, the older boy flinched and laughed. "Stop that" he protested with a giddy voice as he put a hand to his mouth to try to hide how much he liked it. Harry had no trouble seeing through his vague protest. "You love it", he commented with his satisfaction porly hidden, and started over; he put his finger up against Louis shoulder, and let it glide over the fabric past his chest, down along his ribs, and then down, following the slight curve that defined Louis waist. Harry bit his lip. He loved Louis waist. One day he hoped to be aloud to put tiny little love bites there. His breath became a little shaky when he thought about his lips against Louis bare skin and it must have been noticed, because Louis became still and looked at him. He moved closer and kissed his friend.

Slow kisses quickly became eager kisses. Hands that had hitherto caressed cheeks, neck, hair, arms, now dared to travel down, down. Harry's hand found its way first. When he closed his fingers around Louis hardness through the clothes, he enjoyed the response; he heard Louis inhaled sharply.

"Oh god..." Louis mumbled into Harry's mouth. They kept kissing, but after a short while Louis turned his head away and let Harry's lips rest against his neck. Louis couldn't both kiss Harry and feel him so close. It took too much concentration. He had never felt anything so good. He moaned softly when Harry's long fingers found their way under the fabric and were placed against his hard cock, skin to skin.

"Harry..." he groaned. "Is it suppose to feel like this...? It feels like I'm about to... lift from the ground and fly..."

He felt Harry smile against his neck. "Darling... I think that's exactly how it's suppose to feel..."

For just a moment, Louis tensed when he heard Harry call him "darling" but it just sounded so right, so in a second he relaxed again.

Harry sat himself up and carefully scooted Louis pants further down. Louis became nervous. One hand slid down to the waistband to without very much resistance hold on to the fabric. Harry asked "Don't you want this?" and Louis immediately let go. He was nervous and it felt strange, but an even more prominent feeling was that he despite that feeling wanted this. A lot. "Yes. Continue." he said. He would let Harry do whatever he wanted, everything was just so new to him. Breathlessly he watched Harry when he with an astonished gaze pushed down the fabric of Louis' pants so that they now were around his thighs. Harry looked at Louis, then down to his erection.

"You..." he mumbled "...You are so beautiful...". He let his fingertips caress the dark curls that covered the very low of Louis' belly. Louis felt himself blushing. He closed his eyes and let Harry's fingers explore his body.

Harry's fingertips slid up through the hair, over the stomach, circled around the belly button, and then down again. Louis felt goose bumps covering his body in waves when Harry's fingers followed their track, he felt an almost vibrating feeling on the skin, from the stomach and down past his hips. Harry's finger had now found its way down on Louis thigh, up again, across the hipbone, slid up over the waist and down again, and then a turn right at the hip bone and up. Louis started to think that Harry had a penchant for that particular part of his body.

"So beautiful..." Harry mumbled. He leaned forward and kissed Louis and Louis kissed back. Their breaths were hot and they groaned silently into each others mouths. Louis had his hand tangled up in Harry's hair, and without really noticing it, he pressed down slightly when Harry broke away from Louis lips to kiss his way down, over Louis' chest and stomach. He thought the kisses were to follow a straight path down to his throbbing groin but Harry's soft lips strewed kisses over his stomach, and made the detour to the sides, left and right, and left again. Louis smiled with closed eyes. Harry was there again, he was savouring Louis' waist.

Harry had decided to focus on one side now and Louis felt the kisses from Harry's soft lips, mixed with the tip of his tongue that over and over again stuck out to taste the warm skin. Sometimes he held still and did something that made Louis almost stop breathing; Harry's lips induced a slight pain on a tiny area of Louis' skin, while he at the same time let his lips push a softness onto the skin. The two conflicting emotions got Louis to moan softly and grab Harry's tangled curls even harder.

A couple of such contradictory experiences later, Harry slowly continued his way down Louis' body. One of his hands gripped Louis' stiffness and just when he placed a kiss right where the smooth skin was replaced by dark curls, he lifted his head and looked at Louis. He had a slightly worried look on his face and said, "I've never... done this before... So you know that it's... I don't really know how to do it..."

Louis opened his eyes, looked at Harry and muttered "It's probably nothing to worry about. Everything you do is heavenly, I can't imagine that this would be any difference. Continue... please continue."

Harry was a little more encouraged now, and bowed his head again. Louis leaned his head back, hands searching for something to grab. He didn't want to keep his hands in Harry's hair, it felt too ferocious, he didn't want to hurt him. He made fists around the edges of the blanket they had spread out over the hay bales. It was a worn woolen blanket, sharp dry grass that had found their way through it, and really, it pricked and scratched way too much for it to be comfortable to lie on it like Louis did now, but it was the last thing he thought of at the moment. In fact, he could be lying on a bed of glowing coals, and all he could feel was how Harry's lips slowly closed around the top of his cock.

He gasped when he entered Harry's hot mouth inch by inch. He squeezed his eyes shut, he couldn't understand how something could feel so wonderful. He tried to breathe steadily but with every breath he took, it became more and more like groans. Harry held him by the hand and let him slip in and out of his mouth. Sometimes Louis heard how even Harry groaned, and it prompted him to push his hips up, up to meet Harry, he needed more, more!

It wasn't long before he recognized the feeling, the tingly feeling, increasing the feeling that quickly built up in him, and he began to pant. Alone in his room, he had tried to stay as quiet as possible when he with sweat breaking on his forehead, repeatedly had spilled over his own hand and stomach, but now neither could nor would he stop himself. His hands released the grip on the woolen blanket and found Harry's curls, his hips were moving jerkily, he groaned "Harry, Harry... oh, God, Harry..."

Harry did his best to continue to make it good for Louis and tried not to notice how painfully hard he was himself. Louis moans made things much worse, the sounds went straight down to his cock, which was now so hard that it ached. Harry loved Louis's voice, didn't think he could love it any other way than when Louis and he spent hour after hour of quiet conversations in the glow of a single lantern, but this... this was something extraordinary. The sounds Louis made when Harry had him in his mouth, was the most amazing Harry could ever have imagined. And the words... It sent shivers along Harry's spine, he didn't think Louis would ever dare to say such things... Louis moaned "Harry... oh God, your mouth... Your mouth, your hands... Oh my God, I'm in your mouth, it feels so damn good... Harry, I've dreamed about this for so long. Harry, your mouth is so warm, wet, oh, more, more... Please, Harry..."

Harry loved that Louis never ceased to moan his name but suddenly he heard how he fell silent, and just gasped instead. "Harr... Harry..." was Louis able to blurt out, he was trying to communicate something more, but his voice would let him down. "Now... Oh, God... Oh..." He fell absolutely silent now, and Harry thought he understood why. He let Louis slip out of his warm mouth, and caressed him quickly and firmly with his hand. Before he had time to think about how Louis wanted it now, he watched, with his mouth slightly open in awe, thick white jets shooting out the top of Louis cock, high up over his stomach and chest. At the sight of this, it required only a quick caress over Harry's pants before the same thing happened to him. It was difficult to fondle himself through the tight fabric, no matter how he tried to reach, it wasn't enough. He carefully released Louis who now were laying quietly beside him with irregular breathing. Harry knelt beside his friend and felt his hips twitch as if they had their own lives, while he felt the warm liquid make a mess in his pants.

There was no sensational orgasm Harry had experienced that evening, Louis experience was probably better in every aspect. The beautiful boy lay with his eyes closed, face relaxed, pants pulled up again so that they covered him, this had Harry provided for.

Harry suddenly felt completely exhausted, and threw himself down next to Louis. Quickly, he thought to himself, "I think he snores... I had no clue that he snores." before he was asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry woke up with a start! He heard the rooster crow and anxious cows mooing outside in the barn. The stable was bathing in morning light, and he heard the maid talking calming the troubled cows. Harry rubbed his eyes and realized with horror that if the rooster has started crowing, it's not dark anymore, and the maid is up, it must be five o' clock in the morning!

He carefully shook Louis and whispered, "Louis...! Louis, wake up...! " His tense facial features softened as he looked at his friend who slept peacefully with dark eye lashes resting against his cheeks, and he whispered, quieter, "Sweetie... You need to wake up."

Louis slowly opened his eyes, and smiled when he saw Harry. A second later, he opened up his eyes big and said, "Is it morning?", and Harry had to to nod. "I think it's five o' clock." he said.

Louis sat up quickly, jumped down from their temporary bed, and looked down at his open pants. He looked at Harry, then back to the pants. "I... have to go..." he mumbled quickly while he buttoned up and stepped into his boots. He gave Harry a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered, "Forgive me for running away. But this can be disastrous. I hope they don't notice that I didn't come home last night. Thank you..."

Harry had not had time to get up yet, and now sat silent and looked at the door that slammed shut after Louis. He got up and slowly walked to it, closing it firmly. He always had to close it properly after Louis, he was used to this now.

Then he hurried away to his little dwelling farthest in the yard to wash up and change his pants. He grimaced as he undressed, the clothes were stuck in the hair and it hurt... but he smiled despite the pain, because it reminded him of what he had experienced the previous night.

He went back to the stables and began his daily chores. He whistled a happy tune and tried not to think about last night. He needed to focus on the horses, not Louis. Louis was going to get his attention again tonight, but not now.

Two hours later the stable door opened up in a hurry. Harry turned around, he was startled by the sudden sound, and he noticed that the horse next to him started pacing restlessly in its stall.

It was Louis, storming into the stable. Harry soothingly stroked the brown horse beside him. He then left her and walked towards Louis. "What..." he began to say, but was immediately interrupted by Louis.

"Stop!" he shouted. "Do not come closer, for God's sake, come no closer! You are a sin! I am a sin! Everything about us is a sin!"

Harry opened his eyes big, terrified. What was Louis doing? Why did he behave like this?

"But Lou... what do you mean...?" he said expectantly. He wondered if Louis had regretted what they had done, and now was mad at him. His worries was over in an instant when he saw Louis' eyes fill up with tears, and while he shouted at Harry the tears fell down his cheeks, he seemed to have no end to them. With a cracked voice he explained "I hurried home this morning, only to be met by nothing but accusatory glances, harsh words, angry words, Harry, they were so nasty, I..." here, he had to stop talking because he was crying so much. Harry took a step toward him, reaching out his hand. Louis blinked and continued indignantly, "I am not welcome there. Harry, they don't want me there anymore. I can not come home again. I will have to leave, go away, far away from here. You..." Louis were crying hysterically now. "...You can not remain working here. You must move out... I am so sorry... So sorry! You need to get out of this place, you can not stay on the farm. They want us gone now, now this very morning. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore, and I am so sorry. Harry, I'm so sorry..."

Harry's chest ached with despair, all he wanted was to embrace Louis, he seemed to need it so much, but he knew that Louis was not receptive to hugs now. He was angry and hurt and sad. He needed to let off steam.

"They saw us! Harry, they saw us last night!" Louis almost yelled at Harry. "That bitch was spying on us, and then ran and fetched father! They saw what we did. Father said..." more crying from Louis now. Hysterical crying. Harry was worried that Louis would start to hyperventilate, but just stood still in front of him. "Harry, my father said... that he no longer have a son.... Harry... he does not have a son anymore...!"

Harry's heart sank in his chest and he couldn't stop himself, he didn't care if Louis would start hitting or kicking him, he couldn't just stand and watch how despair took over Louis more and more with every second that passed. He rushed forward and took Louis in his arms and they fell together onto the floor, Louis with his face pressed against Harry's chest while the body shook with sobs. Harry wanted to cry, he couldn't understand how he could feel so agitated by seeing Louis like this, but he kept quiet.

...

Louis had fallen silent now. His heavy breathing had calmed down, the tears seemed to have run out, and Harry wondered if he had fallen asleep in his arms.

He lifted one hand and stroked Louis' hair gently. Then he heard Louis pull a shaky sigh.

He separated himself from Harry's arms and moved back a bit, still sitting on the floor, but without touching Harry.

He gathered himself and said, "Harry. I beg of your excuse for everything ending up like this. I wish I could help you find a new job, but unfortunately I have no experience with any of your knowledge. And I understand if you do not want to see me any more. I will leave you now. I ask again to apologize and hope you can do fine on your own. I will never forgive myself for this happening to you."

He got up and brushed off his pants.

"I could take the old sick mare, father said. I would take her and go away as quickly as I could. So... Well... Goodbye." he said, and Harry could hear his voice break on the last word.

His chest constricted when he saw Louis turn around and go to let out the tired old horse. "Wait!" he shouted. "You must understand that I will come with you, don't you?".

Louis turned and looked incredulously at Harry. "No... ?" he said hesitantly.

Harry resignedly laughed. "But... Really? Do you really not understand that? Louis... My feelings have not changed. I'm in love with you! Louis, I said I wanted to run away with you, and I mean it!"

"But... you've lost your job..." Louis said, looking genuinely confused. "Why would you still want to be with me...?"

Harry laughed. "My job does not matter, I will follow you wherever you go. I will follow you to the end of the world. If you so just go and go and go so that you one day will come back here, I will follow you."

Louis looked sad. "I will never come back here again..." He looked down.

Harry stood up and embraced him again. "You don't know that. One day, the winds have changed, and then maybe everything have changed. I will not lose hope. But for now, I'm with you, every step you take. We are leaving this farm together. Do you hear me?" he said, and put a finger under the other boy's chin.

Louis nodded. "Yes..." he said, but did not sound convinced.

Harry repeated himself, "I will not leave you".

Now he saw how his statement really reached Louis. His features softened and his lips formed into a small smile.

"Okay." he replied. "Then... we begin our journey. Where are we going?"

Harry shrugged. "Just, away." he replied. Then he pulled Louis to him in a fierce hug. "My love. I understand that you are hurt. I understand that you are devastated. But I sincerely believe that your father will change his mind. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. It may take time. However, I believe he will repent. It will all be okay in the end."

Louis wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I will never forgive him. Never. You don't throw your children out of your house. Especially not when the mean girl your son were suppose to marry, are standing next to you grinning."

Harry said nothing. He did not like to speak ill of people, even those who hurt his dear ones.

Then he was silent, while he caressed Louis' hair. Then they packed up Harry's things and left.

 

3 years later

"Dad, dad, there is a knock on the door, it's grandma, can I open the door, please daddy, can I open the door, can I??" The little girl next to Harry eagerly pulled at the side of his pants while she jumped with both feet together so that the golden curls bounced. Harry laughed and said "Yes, of course, run along, open up!".

The girl rushed through the small cottage and flung the door wide open. "Grandma!" she exclaimed happily and threw herself into the older woman's arms. "Oh, my little sweetheart!" the woman replied cheerfully and hugged the girl gently with her left arm, for in his right hand she balanced a porcelain plate with what looked to be an apple pie. Harry smiled big as he went to meet them. "Hello, welcome!" he said with warmth in his voice as he gently lifted up the pie plate so that the happy girl could finally get a proper hug. She drilled into her little face against the woman's neck and happily murmured, "My grandma... It's my grandma..." Harry put his hand to his chest, it almost ached in him when he realized how happy their life had ended up.

The girl finally let go of her grandmother's neck and they stood up. The woman held her arms out towards Harry and said, "Come here, give me a big hug!" and Harry fell into her arms and gave her a proper cuddle. "How are you all doing in this little home?" she wondered. "Oh, it's all good." Harry replied. "Can not complain at all."

"And where do you have my son, and my other little sweetheart?" the woman asked as she searched around with her eyes in the cottage. Harry laughed and replied, "They are in the room, your other little sweetheart has been screaming all morning, and we decided that it was time for her to take a nap."

The woman laughed and nodded with a sympathetic min. "Then I will absolutely not interfere." she said, and sat down at the kitchen table. It was a worn table, with four mismatched chairs. In the small cottage kitchen was a stove, a beautifully painted corner cabinet, a long bench along one wall, and a window. On the floor an old rag carpet. That's it. The rest of the cabin was as sparsely furnished, but there was still all that was needed for two adults and two children.

Then they heard a door creake quietly. The three of them turned their eyes toward the sound and saw Louis sneak out from the small room at one end of the house. He lit up when he saw his mother. "Mom!" he whispered as loudly as he dared and closed the door gently behind him. His mother stood up from the wooden chair and opened her arms. "My child, my beautiful child. " she whispered and closed her eyes as he quickly rushed over and let her embrace him.

Then she released him, grabbed his shoulders and gently pushed him away with straight arms to have a look at him. "How are you? Are you okay? Are you eating enough? Are you taking care of yourself?"

Louis laughed and looked at Harry, "Mom, Harry makes sure we have everything we need. If you want to know how we are doing, ask him. He'd never let us starve nor freeze."

The woman laughed and let go of her son. "No, I didn't think so either... But a parent never stops worrying. You surely must have noticed that by now?"

Harry and Louis looked at each other and nodded, "Yes... it's insane how many times we thought our hearts would jump out of our chests in fear since the baby learned to walk. We really think she will fall and get hurt all the time! And you - " Louis pinched the curly the girl opposite him in the cheek " - you are a champion at climbing trees, but it looks so dangerous!"

"I can climb high into the trees!" the little girl happily explained and looked at her grandmother. "When I grow up, I will sit in the trees with a big rifle and shoot a lot of deers so that we can eat very much, all the time!"

Grandmother, wide-eyed replied, "Oh, really! So your dads wouldn't have to do it, instead you will?"

The girl nodded with a resolute look on her face. "Yes!" she replied. "I'll get ALL the food to our house, because I can!"

The girl bubbled on about deers and rifles and tree climbing and a billion other things that would go through a four-year girl's head, until she suddenly got tired of sitting still and talking, and instead jumped down from the chair and said, "Grandma, I'm going outside now. I'll see if the wild strawberries started to grow out in the pasture!"

The woman nodded and said, "You do so, I will stay here. "

When the front door had closed the woman said, "Boys... I want to tell you something. Louis... I wish that you stay calm and not blaze up. Just listen, let me finish, please."

Louis frowned. Now, what was this about?

"Louis, dear... I would like to let you know that... your father would love to... " she didn't get to finish before Louis snorted loudly and crossed his arms over his chest. "...would love to" his mother continued "...go with me here next time I come to visit."

Harry glanced at Louis. His beloved looked crossed and relentless, but Harry thought he within himself struggled to keep both anger and hope in check.

"He wants to come here? Why, if I may ask?" Louis asked with a distrustful look on his face.

"He have been thinking so much about you these passed years. Thinking about you both... He misses both of you, and he... well, I think he realized that he handled it all wrong."

"All wrong?" Louis repeated. "Yes, 'all wrong' is probably just about right, throwing his own son out of his house and instead let that horrible little brat who finds herself a new fiance in just a few weeks simply taking over the wedding!"

His mother looked down on the embroidered tablecloth on the table. It was she who had given it to them as a gift, the first time she visited in their cottage. She remembered the tears that had dripped down onto the fabric while sewing it, of regret for her child who had fled his home with his beloved, an early morning, before the sun had barely risen. She had been genuinely afraid that the heart would burst with worry and regret, before she was told he and Harry were.

She looked at Louis again. "My child... He did wrong. He knows it now. He really has been thinking, I have seen how he has suffered all this time. You should see him, he has aged ten years in these three that have passed. He miss you so much it aches in his chest, but he was too proud to admit it. He has finally seen it himself, and he asked me to tell you he so very much wants to come with me, the next time I'm coming here. I have been telling him about how you are, I have told him about your home, and how happy you are and I've told him all about what happened when you took care of your little girls. He longs to meet all four of you. Would you at least think about it?"

Louis scowled. He shook his head. "It's too late. Three years mother. Three years! He can't possibly need three years to realize that he misses me, his own child."

His mother looked almost about to cry. "He is a stubborn ox, your father. But he loves you. He has just taken a very long time to see what's important."

Suddenly the door was opened up and the four-year girl came rushing in again. "Grandma, grandma! Look what I found! It is so beautiful!" she exclaimed.

The girl held up a pure white feather, soft and downy, and much larger than it could belong to any of the family's chickens. Harry and Louis did't know what kind of bird it might have belonged to. A swan maybe, flying over their house. It was extraordinary.

The girl gently put the feather on the embroidered cloth and then looked at her grandmother and said in amazement "I know where it comes from. It comes from my mother and father. They are sitting on a cloud high up in the sky now, looking down on me and little sister, and they miss us so very very much, but they are so happy so happy that the daddys found us when we were so sad and hungry and had no mother or father left. They cry so much when they miss us, but God wanted them back and therefore they had to die. They didn't want to leave us, and we didn't want it, but they had to. And now they want to give us a memory of them, so they dropped a feather from one of their wings, so I could find it."

A special mode were set the kitchen in the little cottage. Harry glanced at Louis, who doggedly blinked away the tears that threatened to fall over his cheeks. The girl looked calmly at the white feather on the table, no one said anything.

Suddenly the silence was broken by the girl jumping off the chair again, rushing through the open door. "I'm gonna try to find raspberries now!" she called over her shoulder.

Louis mother gently took Louis hands in hers, trying to catch his gaze. Then he looked at her and said "Okay. Yeah. Take him here. Take him here, but if he says something stupid or do something stupid, or even look at me stupid, he's going out!"

His mother nodded. "I'm so happy for this, Louis." she said. "I think it will work out so good."

Harry leaned forward and kissed Louis lightly on the cheek. "You're doing the right thing" he whispered. "It'll be fine."

...

Louis sat down on the yellowing grass with a sigh. He finally had raked up all the leaves that had fallen in the last week. Autumn was really here for real now. The trees blazed in yellow, red and orange and the evenings were cold. Just when he was going to go back inside, he saw two people come walking toward the little cottage. One he recognized instantly. It was his mother. The person who walked beside her... he recognized him. But... yet not.

He felt a knot in his stomach. It was his father. It had been almost three and a half years since he saw him. His mother had been right when she had said that he had aged .

Now they walked along the gravel path leading up to the cottage. Louis sat motionless, had forgotten how to do in order to stand up. His thoughts had completely halted, his movements as well. He did not move in the slightest, and just stared at them.

He heard Harry had come out to greet the guests and stood behind Louis, that looked at his father without being able to take his eyes of him. Suddenly the couple stopped, right on the gravel path. His father stood still, and put his hand against his chest and closed his eyes for a second. Then he held his arms out in a gesture of reconciliation and before Louis could think, he jumped up from the lawn and rushed towards the old man. He crashed into his chest, and the same hysterical crying had left his body the day he left his parents' home, made its way out of him now. Desperately, he wept and wept, lying in his father's arms, until they slowly sat down and was now sitting on the ground, Louis crying against his father, as he wept against Harry an early morning that seemed that like yesterday but at the same time as it was a thousand years since.

His mother wiped away tears rolling down her cheeks, and Harry hurried away to hold her.

The two small children peeked out the door and slipped out barefoot on the cold gravel. "Are you our grandfather?" the older girl asked.

The man could not answer, but just laughed with flowing tears and nodded. He held out his arms to them and they crawled up in Louis' knee and they were all three embraced by the older man.

"I am so sorry... " he whispered to them. "I am so sorry I didn come here until now... I've been stubborn as a donkey... I didn't know what I was missing here."

The smallest girl caressed him lightly on the cheek and said, "My grampa" and Louis murmured, "Father. I forgive you."

The old man put his face to his son's hair, inhaling the scent of him. "Thank you." he whispered. "I will never let you down again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end :) 
> 
> You are welcome to my tumblr any day! :) http://does-it-matter-where-we-were.tumblr.com/


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